CHILD SAFETY

Though news reports may make it seem as if the number of child abductions is epidemic, it is not, according to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. There are 3,000 to 5,000 non-family abductions in the United States each year. In most of those cases, the children are sexually abused before being returned to their families.

About 100 children a year are abducted and murdered. Seventy-five percent of those children are murdered within three hours, the center says.

Peter Banks, a former Washington, D.C., police officer who is the center's director of training and outreach, says parents should prepare their children by talking to them because an abduction can turn violent. "Most abductions are not really abductions: They are seductions by people whose sole ambition is to use their guile and cunning to victimize helpless children," Banks said.

"The No. 1 weapon to arm a child with is self-esteem. Tell your kids you love them and make them feel proud. If you don't tell them you love them, then someone else will."

Whatever you do, don't try to scare your kids. Dr. Carl Metzger, a Portland-based child psychiatrist, recommends parents try not to instill fear in their children or harp on the topic. Repetitive warnings make the parent seem weak or unable to provide care. "Instilling fear ruins the balance for a young child. It would make them fearful or anxious," Metzger said. "The most effective approach is for parents to give a warning in context, such as if something appears on television or a child brings the subject up. That's the perfect time to give the message."

And what is the message? Metzger says it depends on the age of the child. You can talk to a 9-year-old about how it is unsafe to go with a stranger. But you might want to tell a 5-year-old that they may go only with Mommy or Daddy. Metzger says parents need to be vigilant because society has changed in recent years. "There has been a lessening of the network that keeps children safe, and by that I mean children are often left on their own while their parents work," Metzger said.

He recommends that children not veer from their destination, avoid occupied parked cars, and if someone does try to physically overpower them, shout, scream and kick. Police have found that many abductors will flee if a child reacts in that way. As with most attempted abductions, never let yourself be taken to a second location, do whatever needs to be done to get away. "It's fight or flight. You don't have a lot of options."

Steps to take to keep your kids safe:
-Never leave a child unattended in a parked car, park, playground or store.
-Have a family "code" word to use when someone other than the parents is picking up the child. If the "code" word isn’t give, the child should not go with that person.
-Let children know that they don’t always have to listen to adults. If someone they don’t know tells them to do something, let them know that it’s okay not to listen. They should draw attention to themselves in whatever way is necessary to avoid a predator.
-The number 1 target of predators is adolescent girls, mostly between the ages of 8 and 15. Most girls in this age group should be warned of the dangers to them. Have a plan of action as to what they should do in any instance of danger.