Kid Joke

from Harlan Coben

Father's Day

Hmmm...

I'm not even sure I know why I'm posting today. I think it may be because just last night I came across a quote written by Anne Sexton:

"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.”

I don't have a relationship with my father and I'm okay with that. I saw him at a funeral several years ago. It was very strange to see him, and I remember thinking how nice his complexion was - go figure. Surprising, it was very unemotional for me.

At times, he could be the best father. But, mostly he wasn't.

I guess the best word to describe how I remember him would be disappointing.

And, I also wonder, just when do parents fall out of love with their kids? I've seen it repeatedly where a child is born and the parents are head over heels in love with their little bundle of joy.

Then the years pass and before you know it there's no longer respect for this child. They find it okay to spank (or worse) this little person. They use sarcastic tones when speaking to this little person. They forbid, with no explanation as to why.

Over time, the actions of the parent start to chip away at a child's confidence.

Parents should love their children more than anything else in the world. Anything and everything.

It's Not Delivery...

it's DiGiorno's!!!

Okay, you know those TV commercials, I'm sure you've seen them. I always wondered if it were true, but never tried one.

On Friday night Vanessa and Jae were here. Vanessa had been craving DiGiorno's for a few days, so her way here (to visit) Veronica picked up a supreme DiGiorno's pizza and we heated it up. O M G! That pizza is absolutely delicious. I mean really, really, really delicious. The veggies tasted really fresh. There was a good amount of toppings and the crust was as good as fresh dough.

DiGiorno's is so much better than the Domino's pizza's I've ordered lately, for sure. Vanessa said they were only about $7 which is a bargain if you've ordered a pizza from just about anywhere lately.

Today Patrick, Emilee, Matthew and I went to BJ's. Thank goodness Matthew remembered that I wanted to get DiGiorno's pizza while we were there, because I forgot to write it down. And if I forget to write something down, it certainly doesn't stay in my memory.

We got two 3-packs, so for about $25 I got 6 pizzas. Three supreme and three pepperoni. So the next time Vanessa and Jae are here, I will be able to offer them a choice of which DiGiorno's pizza they want to eat.

I will never order delivery pizza again. Really.

The New Place

Though I'm still not sure where all my furniture is going to go, I am pretty much settled in at my new home. I really love it here.

I've changed the living room around a couple of times, but am still not happy with it. I can't decide what to do with the table - it's under a picture window now, but the floor is so crooked that anything round rolls right off - and standing across the room, you can tell the table isn't straight.

I've thought about putting the table in the kitchen, it would fit, but then the hutch (which is in the kitchen) would need to be moved out and I'm not sure where it would go.

My bedroom furniture has been moved around a couple of times. Veronica has my bureau, she has so many clothes that I had to give it to her so she could put some away and out of sight. I don't really need a bureau because the double closet that is in my bedroom now has shelves in half of it for me to put my clothes. Dennis did a great job on the shelves and the new double doors that replaced the very ugly pegboard sliders that were there previously.

One of the first things that we did was put up a clothesline. There were two of the little pulley thingys, one attached to the deck and the other attached to a tree about 30 feet away. Matthew and Emilee were here the day we put the clothesline up and were absolutely fascinated by it. I showed them how it works and we hung my pajama top on it so they could see. They couldn't believe how great it was and when Chelsea and Emilee were over a few days ago, Chelsea felt the same way and she and Emi made a big sign out of printer paper that said "Beware of Hannibal" and hung it on the clothesline. It stayed there for 3 days until I took it in and hung it on the wall as you walk into my kitchen. I explained to the kids that we only had clotheslines until clothes dryers were invented and they can't believe how "lucky" we were.

It reminded me of the time that I popped popcorn in a pan for Vanessa and Veronica years ago, they thought it was so cool and, again, I explained that this method predated microwave popcorn!

Thank goodness my nieces and nephews have me to show them the old school ways of doing things!!

A Good Day

Today should be one of my best days.

A few weeks ago my nieces and nephews got talking about how they wanted to have a party at my house before I move. As I am just moving upstairs, I suspect that they just want to have a party. Nevermind that my brother Patrick is moving into my apartment once I'm out!

I found out on Friday that the party is today!

I absolutely love and adore my nieces and nephews. They are smart, funny, cool, compassionate, witty, clever, creative and the joy of my life.

Last night I made chocolate chip cookies, and I'm proud to say that I didn't burn any!

Other than that, I've been told that I don't have to do anything!!

I'll post pictures and video later.

An Email From Chelsea

My niece Chelsea is in the 8th grade. Tonight I got an email from her that, surprisingly, consisted of more than just two or three words!

"Just one more night of the idiot in office. I am hoping to get out of class tomorrow to watch the big moment of history where the first African American becomes the 44th president of the United States. Big moment.

Also, remember, don't buy peanut butter crackers, cookies, etc. Jars of PB are okay. Officers believe these are being contaminated like spinach was."

Chelsea

She cracks me up.

Oh That Chelsea!!

Apple Picking

On Saturday we went apple picking. And by we, I mean; Vanessa, Ryan, Jaelyn, Veronica, Chelsea, Matthew and Emilee. We had a good time and we picked a LOT of apples! This was Jaelyn's first year for picking and I think she'll be back for more. There she goes with Emilee, which was a familiar sight. When Emilee is around, Jaelyn thinks she is a big girl!
Auntie rested on the big rock while everyone figured out where to go next.
They had pumpkins, too! I don't know if Jaelyn knew what they were. She did have fun climbing over them though.

All the big smiles - we really had a fun time!

Baby Laughs

When Jaelyn was here the other night, I had filled her bottle with apple juice. When she first took a drink, the bottle made a funny noise which made me laugh, which made her laugh. Here's our fun time:

Going Commando

Vanessa and Jaelyn came for dinner tonight. It's the first time I've seen Jaelyn since she started school (which lately she hasn't liked at all) so we had a lot to catch up on.

As they were walking to the house, Vanessa told Jaelyn to tell me what she had on. It seems that she was wearing panties instead of a diaper! She has been using the potty more and more lately. Crazy, because she will just be 2 on December 26th.

Patrick had called and told me he was bringing dinner home - stuffed fish. So, it was nice not to have to cook. Though I did make some pasta roni to go with the fish.

Jaelyn was in rare form tonight, and she was very funny. We discovered shortly after they got here that she didn't have any panties on! She was with her dad today and she may have had an accident. Vanessa didn't have a diaper so there was the mad rush to the bathroom at least a couple of dozen times tonight. She did pee three times, so there was some success. Jaelyn would say pee or poop and then she would freeze herself as she was holding it and Vanessa, and then Veronica, would hurry her away before she let go. She never did have an accident tonight.

As we were sitting around talking, Vanessa got me laughing harder than I had in a long time. She was taking out the trash at her house this morning and a squirrel dropped a donut on her head! Actually, it was half of a Dunkin Donuts rainbow sprinkled donut! She literally didn't know what hit her. She looked up at the tree and the squirrel had the other half of the donut.

Vanessa called once they got home, Jaelyn went right into the bathroom and closed the door. She peed and pooped on the potty and wiped herself! What a funny kid.

Jaelyn Goes To School

Today was Jaelyn's first day of school. Actually it's called a "child university." Vanessa send these pictures and it looks like she was very excited to get going. It sure looks like she has a lot of stuff in that backpack, doesn't it? You can click on any picture and get a close-up view. She must have been excited and in a hurry to get there - notice the car keys in her right hand and lunchbox in the left hand! And "the bracelet" is on, as usual!
Here she is sitting at a table in her new school. I'm not sure what she has in her hands is something to play with or to eat, but she seems to be enjoying it. Last week I took her to the library and she fell off a chair that look quite similar, so I hope she is being careful at school.Her mom reports that the teachers said she had a great first day adjusting to a new setting and even took a nap for the first time on a cot and made lots of friends already. I cannot wait to talk with her about this big day. Great job Jaelyn, Auntie is very proud.

Oakland Beach

The kids and I celebrated the first day of school (for Matthew and Emilee) by going to Iggy's for supper and eating it at the beach.
After eating, the kids were climbing all over the rocks. It was fun to watch and the weather was just beautiful. Emi, of course, was dancing on the rocks as well as climbing on them.
We really had a good time and I hope we can do it again!
Especially since they are growing so fast - we'll have to get back there soon!

Oh My Gosh!

Here's a short little video that Emi made last night at the beach. Very funny!

Foreclosure Means No Rights For Tenants

In Rhode Island, if you rent a house or an apartment in a house that has been foreclosed there are absolutely no laws in place to protect the tenant. Therefore they have no rights at all. I've made a few calls and spoke with a nice woman at RI Housing. She said that tenants get 30 days notice, that's it!

With Vanessa's situation, we're not exactly sure when the 30 days would begin or have begun. The real estate company that has called her hasn't been exactly up front and has said that there is a mortgage company involved and they are the ones calling the shots.

I'm waiting for some others to return my call and hope we can get a little more info.

When Poopie Turds Escape

I was lucky enough to have JaeMae visit for a few hours today.

Michelle dropped her off a little after 11:30 and Vanessa came about 4:00 to pick her up.

In the meantime, we had a lot of fun together though it didn't start off that way. She did poopies in her diaper just before Michelle left. When I told JaeMae that I was going to change her, she was not a happy kid. She went into the corner and started to cry as if I was getting ready to torture her!

Once I calmed her down, I laid her on the couch and began the process of taking all those layers off. First her shoes, because her pants need to come completely off as I am not the neatest of diaper changers. Then unsnap the onesy (is that how you spell it??) and finally get to the diaper.

As I un-velcroed the diaper I peeked in and she had a diaper full of turds!! As I was moving the diaper a couple of the turds fell onto the floor (aaarrgghh) and I figured I'd pick them up after I put the new, clean diaper on.

One of the turds, a marble sized one, had rolled over the floor to the corner of the coffee table. As I was leaning down to pick them up, Hannibal came over and schllluppp, it was gone!!! He didn't even chew, just swallowed it!!!!

I started laughing so hard that JaeMae joined in, even though I don't think she had a clue as to what had just happened.

After that, we had lunch, took a nap and had just put Hannibal outside when Vanessa showed up. I told her what had happened and she got a good laugh out of it as well.

Needless to say, neither JaeMae or I got any doggie kisses from Hannibal for the rest of the day, as much as he tried!

More Surprises Than Expected

Okay, so I am finally feeling better so I can now talk about the surprise 50th birthday party we had for my sister, Michelle, on Sunday.

My niece Vanessa did a great job organizing everything and picked a real swanky restaurant to have the party at. Her friend is the chef there so she worked on the food part, I did the invitations and Veronica picked up some of the decorations, along with Vanessa.

Patrick and I headed to BJ's to pick up the cake and we all met at the restaurant about an hour before the guests were to arrive.

Decorations were put up and pictures of Michelle's life were put onto a poster board. Guests started arriving and the place filled up quickly. Some of our relatives were unable to come as one of my mother's sisters had been rushed to the hospital the day before. Friends of Michelle and Mike's came from all over and were all anxious for her arrival. After a few false alarms, Michelle and her husband Michael arrived and the party then went into full force.

One of the things that none of us really thought about prior to the food coming out was the quantity of food you get at these swanky type restaurants. If you have ever been to one of those fancy places you know that quantity is just not there. You get a salad that is pretty much unidentifiable with leaves instead of lettuce. The entree is always quite pretty, but doesn't take up much of the plate.

The appetizers disappeared in moments and if I hadn't been sitting right by one of the tables, I wouldn't have had an opportunity to get anything. The buffet was a salad of questionable greens, pasta and chicken and rolls. In a matter of just a few minutes the food was gone. Gone. Some people were still in line, others, like me, hadn't even gotten up to get anything. After quite awhile another couple of batches of pasta and chicken were put out and, poof, like a magician was there, it disappeared. I think people thought, since it was a buffet, that piling food up on their plate was an okay thing to do.

Unknown to us there was panic in the kitchen because that was all the food they had designated for the party. They scrambled and eventually more chicken and pasta (completely different from the previous) was put out and I finally got to eat. By this time some people had left so we got the cake out and we all sang, which seemed to be something that was very important to Michelle!

As the party wound down, the plan was that Michelle was going to take JaeMae home since Vanessa would have dropped her off 12 hours later. Veronica left with her friend as other people were getting ready to leave. Patrick and I were planning our escape when Vanessa got a call from Veronica that she had gotten into a car accident and she wanted Michelle to go to her.

So Michelle and Mike left, we decided that I would take the baby, presents and balloons to my house until Vanessa finished up at the restaurant. Patrick was nice enough to get the car seat into my car along with JaeMae's 2 bags of toys, diapers, etc.. While I was gathering the gifts, Patrick took the baby to my car and Vanessa got the party bill and I almost had a coronary. It was much higher than it should have been given the food problems so I asked Vanessa if she wanted me to speak with someone about it. She did, so I spent a couple of minutes talking with her friend the chef with my arms full of balloons and presents. I left them to figure it all out and headed to my car.

Patrick had buckled the baby in and covered her with a blanket, so he and I thought we'd go find Veronica at the accident site. We didn't, so we headed to my house. As we were turning onto my road, Michelle called and asked when I was coming to pick up Veronica. HUH? So we headed back, and there was Veronica's cute little car all crunched in the hood on the back of a tow truck! We swapped the baby, presents and balloons for the girls and off we went following the tow truck to the body shop. Veronica was pretty upset with herself for crashing into a pick up truck and was really upset about her car being crunched.

I dropped her and her friend Gina at Gina's car, dropped off Patrick and I went home to my Hannibal, who missed me as much as I missed him.

Within hours, as I had expected, a sore throat and cold had settled in and wiped me out for a few days.

Vanessa got $200 off the bill and Veronica's car will be fixed in a couple of weeks, so all's well that ends well.

Jae Mae At Christmas

I love this picture of Jaelyn Mae. Especially if you click on it and get a bigger than real life version.

What A Weekend

It really was quite the exciting weekend here in little old Rhode Island.

We had the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition building a new house in Warwick - by now the family is in their new home and loving everything that was done.

Woonsocket has Richard Gere filming a movie.

Mike Huckabee was looking for some evangelicals to vote for him.

Hillary Clinton had a rally, hoping for a win somewhere...maybe here? Go Hillary!

Even more important - Chelsea and Matthew were here with me; Chels for two nights, Matthew for just one. Emilee was here earlier in the week for two nights!

Last, but certainly not least, JaeMae was here for several hours on Saturday night!

My Smiling Valentines

I am the Auntie.

Smile Pretty

The title pretty much says it all!